Three Money Lessons I Learned While Writing a Book

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With 7 hours and 1 minute to spare until my deadline, I finished the rough draft of my first book (Bethany House, 2013). This morning I reflected on the 14 months that it’s taken to get Pocket Your Dollars: 5 Attitude Changes that Will Help You Pay Down Debt, Avoid Financial Stress, and Keep More of What You Make from initial concept to rough draft. As I did, three money-related lessons surfaced in my mind.

These lessons are reminders about the role of money in our life and how it works for or against us.

Money is not the best motivator

I was under contractual obligation to write this book. There were financial consequences and rewards for me to complete it and, should the book actually sell, to sell it. Last summer, while I procrastinated getting started, I got myself over the hump by thinking about the money. It took seven months, but I did get a first chapter written.

Time wore on and I kept getting re-stuck. I have perfectionistic tendencies and I allowed the fear of failure to paralyze me. I wouldn’t (or couldn’t?) write because I was afraid the message would be terrible. No wonder it took me six months to write the second chapter.

With the deadline for my rough draft weeks away and my fears confirmed that I could not do this, I spent some time soul searching. If I was going to quit, this would be the moment to do it. If I was going to see this through, then I needed to find a source of motivation.

I felt a divine commission to write the message that was in my heart, 5 attitude changes that will help you pay down debt, avoid financial stress, and keep more of what you make, even if it never went to print or never sold a copy.

In that moment I let go of a financial motivation. The divine commission motivated me. I became personally committed to writing the book simply because I knew it was part of what my course in life required of me.

The results prove that my new intrinsic motivation was powerful. It took just 2.5 weeks to write the third chapter, then a week after that I turned in the fourth. I wrote the remaining 9 chapters over the following 22 days.

With the right gas in my fuel tank I was able to get myself to go. Maybe you’ve had an experience different than me, where money did motivate you to accomplish something. I’d love for you to leave a comment and share your examples.

Money decisions aren’t made at the surface level

The book’s premise is that we have attitudes toward or about money that fuel our behavior. We often try to make financial change at the behavioral level by committing to only go out to lunch once per week or cut our cable bill. Sure, we do ultimately need to act differently if we want different results in our financial life, but the starting point is much deeper. It’s on the inside of you.

Where you draw lines for what’s appropriate and not for your family and your finances, my lines might be different. We can both be right. This stuff is personal and requires a deep introspection.

The last chapter I wrote (which will be chapter #5 in the book) was the “I Can’t Afford It” attitude. It’s like one of those brain teaser puzzles where you look at an image one way and see a young girl, but look another way and see an old woman. That single phrase can be healthy to those that lack restraint, but can be bondage to those that fall prey to hyper-restraint.

It’s an example that you can’t judge yourself or others by the words they say about money. The matter is a deeper one of the heart.

How have you seen inner attitudes influence your outward behavior or decisions about money?

Bank balance doesn’t matter

We share a common humanity regardless of social status, income or net worth. The attitudes we bring to our personal financial management are universal. You can be motivated by consumerism when you live on a meager unemployment check just as well as you can be motivated by it if you make six figures.

It’s similar to how you may feel when you turn 40. Friends and family send greetings and tease you for being over the hill. Then you wake up the next morning, age 40 years and 1 day, and are still yourself. Your struggles, desires, strengths and mindsets are still with you. Nothing magical happened when you crossed over the hill to erase what is inside you.

Likewise, there is no income level or net worth amount where you suddenly change. You bring the same attitudes to your finances when you have little as when you have much.

Have you found this to be true in your life, or those of loved ones, or no?

About Carrie Rocha

I am passionate about helping people live within their means so they can get out and stay out of debt. I live in Minneapolis, MN with my husband and two little girls.

Comments

  1. My attitude about money has surely evolved over the past 32 years. Experience and mistakes are a good thing if you “pay” attention to them as you go. I have learned from buying things I knew I wanted and those that I did in fact need that; "things" DO NOT make me happy! No matter how nice they are; there is ALWAYS something newer and better around the very next corner. What I have found that for me things that make my life simpler or easier or more convenient are the things that really do make me happy. For instance my washer and dryer used to be in my basement; over 20 years ago we moved it to the main level at a convenient location for me to wash clothes and after 20 years I STILL reflect how much nicer it is to have it where it makes that chore more simple for me. On the flip side of that there are many materialistic things I have purchased over the years that I "wanted" and yes they are nice and I like them, but they become invisible after awhile…I don't really notice them…they are only eye appealing, they don't make my life easier or simpler so I have learned no matter how much I visually like something after awhile I start to not see it anymore.
    From those experiences I FINALLY knew what I wanted to save my money for: Financial Freedom! Yes I determined there is a price on my Financial Freedom and was going to buy it! So for me getting out of debt is what I am saving my money to buy! I know being out of debt is not a passion for some or one that some people can day by day be mindful of; but for me I think of it all day long…in everything I do…I am saying yes doing this or that will either help me buy my freedom or not. It is not about a quota on purchasing only so many coffees a month or how many times I can go out to eat…it comes from my gut and heart of knowing what I “really want”; it is not a money diet. I don't care what is the latest trendy thing to buy today because for me I know if whatever it is I am considering to buy if it won’t make my sole happy I really don’t want it and it will only keep me from what I know I do want.
    So for me feeling good inside, in control and having a simpler life is priceless!

  2. Oddly enough, you mentioned turning 40 and that is when my attitude about money changed. I used to think I would just earn more and kept spending. Many of the things I wanted but did not really need. Now I am more frugal and concerned about where each dollar goes. I also find I am the same way about the calories I eat and how I spend my time.

  3. Your book sounds awesome!! You're very amazing and inspiring on your attitude about money. I never really concerned myself about money, because I was blessed to have enough to meet all my basic needs…until the money was not there and I had to adhere to a budget to make ends meet. I learned very quickly to separate my needs from wants!! I totally agree that material things cannot be based on happiness..it just isn't enough. I came upon your website a couple years ago on TCL and it's been an enormous help to me and many others. I'm still amazed when I shop @ the savings by using your website!! You're such a blessing to so many and I know your book and whatever you endeavor will be a great sucess. God bless you many times over!!

  4. Setting a rationally clear purpose is the best motivator, which lead to a high degree of productivity, resulting in an a sense of pride and achievement. Any money that follows from this will surely be a welcome addition, and reflect those virtues just mentioned.

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